the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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