So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
