This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
