Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I need to stop coming to work sober
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
