The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
