I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize