I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
God, I missed his penis.
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