just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
