One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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