I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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