I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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