Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
