I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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