his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
