i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
It was like getting head from an anaconda
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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