He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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