i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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