Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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