Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I'm bleeding and have questions
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
