I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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