What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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