dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
