Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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