someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
either way he was missing a nipple.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
