I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
