whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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