does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
