Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Still dying that you shit outside
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
