Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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