Just cropdusted the office
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
