member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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