I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
