forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
