just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I think I just sharted jello shots
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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