yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i just had sex bonerless
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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