I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
