i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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