I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize