She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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