I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you