Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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