Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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