but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
do herpes really smell.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
