stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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