That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
