i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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