When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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