that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
