My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
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