She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
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