how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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