You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
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I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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