I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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