apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
