new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
