i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
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We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
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You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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