you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
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I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
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I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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