they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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