Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
