Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
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