So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Walk of Shame today included voting.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
